7-26-14 Little Bit a 'Dis…Little Bit of 'Dat...

It's Saturday. Post Chemo Day #10. I have become totally self-absorbed and self-centered and self-aware. The leather couch is my cocoon. Maybe my skin is morphing into leather...

When I think back over the past 10 days, there was not one day that was 100% horrible. One day that I thought, "This is the worst I've ever felt in my life." But, on the whole, it has been a terrible draining few days.

I got a sore throat on Monday or so. I told the nurse when I was in for my pretty much daily blood draw. She was not a nurse I knew (or that I care to know!) She came out and said, "Well, if you'd read your notebook you'd know that's a side effect." End of story. Loy said later, "Boy, she was kind of scolding you, wasn't she???" Turned out they called me later in the day and said I should come in the next day for a bag of fluids. Take that, mean nurse!!!

I think it may have been from the sore throat, but about Tuesday my appetite just shut down. I didn't feel nauseous, just as not hungry. I would try to eat something and it was like eating with no saliva. Sawdust. I tried, but just could not do it.

By Thursday, I decided to give up totally on nutrition and just look for calories. Two yogurts, an apple, half a DQ ice cream (you know things are bad when you can't finish ice cream!), a little dab of chicken and rice. I viewed this day as a success. By now I was unable to take pills because they were sticking on the way down and choking me!!! Not fun!!

Yesterday I mentioned the sore throat again to a nicer nurse. She looked at my throat and said, "Yes, it is really quite red and swollen." She talked with the doctor and they think it will heal on its own now that my blood is good again, so that's a great sign.  So, yesterday I ate a whole 1/2 cup or so of lasagna! And half a hamburger. This morning I ate almost a whole blueberry pancake!! YAY!! My throat is still not normal, but on the way. Stupid nurse.

I weighed myself today, though, and if I can't put 5 pounds on in the next 10 days or so I think they'll yell at me!!!

On Tuesday I went to bed at 6:00 p.m. I can't believe it!!! It was so light outside. I fell right asleep, then kept waking up and it was still light. Finally I thought, "Ok, this cannot be. I must've slept through the night and it is 8:00 a.m." Nope. 8:00 p.m. Not a very restful night of sleep. Next chemo I'm going to try to always stay awake until at least 9:00.

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Through all this, there has been one staple in my diet that has gotten me through. One healing balm drink that has invigorated and quenched…Sonic limeades. I have been getting one of these every single day and loving every juicy gulp. I did branch out last night and got a lemon slush instead and I think it may have the same miraculous medical properties. BUY STOCK IN SONIC.

One other medical breakthrough that, while I cannot prove it, I have 100% assurance in it's healing properties…my brother, Den, has always made breading crumbs to die for. For years we would beg him to tell us the recipe to make his famous breading. He has always been stubborn, and would not divulge the secret formula. Finally he admitted that he doesn't have a recipe--he just throws whatever cracker crumbs he has leftover and they just sort of mix. (And, I don't know…he may add spices also?) I called him and said, "Den, I have cancer. Would you please send me some fish breading?" He quickly acquiesced, so yesterday my package of Den's Golden Healing Crumbs of Life arrived. Once I start dosing with these babies, I'll be cured. I am debating an internal dosage vs. just applying them directly over the cancerous spot…  :) Thanks, Den!!

Yesterday and today Loy and Luke went up to Sioux Falls, which required I have a "babysitter." So I asked two friends to split the shift.

Pam came for the day. We went to the doctor's office, got lunch, and then I sent here to the grocery store. She was kind of lamenting how hard it is to shop for someone else…guess what was the hardest decision for her to make??? Which rawhides to get the fur girls. She's been a friend for 30 years (really) and we don't get to see each other very often, even though we live in the same town, so it was fun to catch up with her. (And, Pam, I never finished telling you the story of that book…it is called "Seven" by Jen Hatmaker and it sounds an awful lot like your cousin and his wife to me. I think you'd like it.)

Then, around 5:00 Lisa came. She used to babysit the kids back in Kearney in the '80's. And she cleaned my house for me. So, when she came over I said, "Would you do a load or two of laundry?" She, of course agree, and I think it has turned into about twelve loads!!! She even ironed!! She has let the dogs out, let the dogs in, thrown the ball, cleaned the kitchen, made blueberry pancakes. She always was a great housekeeper--if her current job doesn't pan out she could always get a job as a personal assistant!!!

However, there is one fly in the Lisa ointment…last night I was sitting there in my jams--PJ pants and a lycra tank--and she said, "Kitt. These don't match." :) How many people would say that????

I am trying to NOT fight the restrictions on my daily life--like the restrictions that I not online shop or drive. I guess I do feel they are a little bit unnecessary. But, here is a transcript of a conversation with Lisa yesterday:

Me: I would like to go to Walgreens for some new makeup.
Lisa: Where is the closest one?
Me: At 48th and Huntington. Turn at the corner, then go to Huntington and turn right.
Lisa (when we arrive at Huntington): So I turn here?
Me: No, you have to go a few more blocks.

Me (as I realize we have just passed Huntington): Oh, I guess you should've turned there. Just go up to the next block and turn left.
Lisa: Turn left???
Me: Oh, no, I meant the other left--turn right!!!

Later last night, when I am trying to navigate her home by a back way:

Me: Turn left right after that stoplight.
Lisa (slowing to turn left BEFORE the stoplight).
Me: No, AFTER the light.
Lisa: So, when you said AFTER the light this time you meant it??

:)

Guess I won't drive for awhile.

I am blessed with so many wonderful friends. Really.

I did get my little head shaved on Thursday. Lori, my hairdresser, said that she could tell the hair was about to fall out, so I decided to take control and just do it. There is something almost empowering about that. So, we're wearing scarves and hats again. I got new make up last night, so I feel like a new person.

Ann just brought a wonderful supper over. And, guess what? I am eating!!! I was going to wait for Loy and Luke to return (in about an hour) but thought, "I have cancer. Why should I wait???" It tastes good. I may eat it again when they get home. YAY food!!! And, Ann, if I could get this recipe I would absolutely adore that…it may have to be added to my list of surprising health foods.

If you're in the mood to pray for me, here might be a few things:

1. That the sore throat would totally heal. (It is better today than yesterday, so that does seem to be happening.)

2. That my GI problems would cease.

3. That I could gain 5 pounds back so the doctor's office would never need to know…

4. That the next chemo session would be better tolerated by me--I think if I didn't get the sore throat maybe it all would've been more manageable.

 
Killing me to NOT be up there where this is what's happening!!!!! But I am so glad that Luke finally got to met Carter. Carter obviously love, love, loves Luke!!!

Talk to you soon!

Love,

Kitt.